


Beetlejuice

by SelenaTerna



Series: Random Doctor Who Ficlets [11]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Did I mention fluff?, F/M, Ficlet, Fluff, Humour, IN MORE WAYS THAT ONE MWHAHHAHAHHA, Implied Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 22:03:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15895014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelenaTerna/pseuds/SelenaTerna
Summary: The Doctor finds an unexpected passenger on board the TARDIS.





	Beetlejuice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts), [goingtothetardis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goingtothetardis/gifts).



> Hellllooooo lovelies! Soooo, I wish I had an explanation for this, but I don't really. *shrugs* I was talking to Heather about pet rabbits yesterday and this idea popped into my head and since it's Nine month (woooooo!) I give you....this silliness. It's not much of anything, really, just a bit of silliness, so please excuse my doofosity! I hope you enjoy this/don't mind it! This fic is for Heather and for Heidi- hope this makes your day a little shinier!
> 
> Unbeta'd.

“Oh, aren’t you a sweetheart!”

The Doctor preened. “Well, I —did you just call me _sweetheart_?”

“Look at you! I could just eat you up!”

“Beg your pardon?” The Doctor shifted under the console, wondering what Rose was on about. “You been readin’ about that Korowai tribe in Papua New Guinea again?”

“You’re just too adorable!” 

The Doctor blinked. Adorable? Him? “That’s not the point, Rose, stop trying to change the s-”

“Look at those ears! ‘m gonna stroke those gorgeous ears, yes I am!”

“Oi! That’s goin’ too far! I’m a Time Lord, me, not a pet!”

(He chose not to examine his pleasure at her remark too closely).

“Who wants a tickle, ‘ey? Who wants a tickle?”

“Right, that’s enough of that!” The Doctor crawled out from under the console and jumped to his feet, stalking over to his companion. “What you on about, Rose?”

Rose, currently kneeling over something on the floor, looked up. “What? Sorry, did you say something Doctor?”

“Did _I_ say something?” The Doctor couldn’t help but feel slightly offended by that. “You’re the one who’s been carryin’ on about fluffy ears and eatin’ and what have you! What you on about, then?”

“Oh!” She laughed. “I wasn’t talking to you!”

He raised his eyebrows. “Well, who you talkin’ to then? No one else here but you, me, and the TARDIS, and last I checked, she doesn’t have ears.”

“I was talking to Beetlejuice!”

“Beetlejuice?” He crossed his arms, leather jacket creaking. “An’ who’s he when he’s at home?”

“This is Beetlejuice!” Carefully scooping something up with both hands, she stood, holding out….

“That’s a _rabbit_!” He said accusingly.

“That’s right,” she cooed, nuzzling the rabbit’s head and cradling it to her chest. “Beetlejuice is a sweet fluffy bunny rabbit, aren’t you love?”

He scowled at the rabbit, who had burrowed under her jacket.”Where did he come from, then?”

“I found ‘im when we went to visit mum this monrin’. He was lost in the park, weren’t you my fluffy love?”

He rolled his eyes. “And what, you decided to bring him here instead of taking him back to your mum?”

“What would mum do with a rabbit?” She nuzzled the rabbit again. “Besides, look at ‘im! He loves me.”

“Oh, so you speak rabbit now?” He scoffed, trying not to think of the fact that the rabbit was under her jacket and was probably burrowing into her shirt by now.

(He wasn’t jealous of a rabbit. He wasn’t that daft. He _wasn’t_.)

(Except that he was.)

“Oh come on Doctor, he’s happy with me! See?” She pointed to her jacket, where a ball of black and white fluff was partially visible.

The Doctor tried _not_ to look. “Be that as it may, this is still no place for him, Rose. What are we goin’ to do with a rabbit?”

“We can put him in the garden!” Rose beamed. “You were sayin’ the other day you wanted somethin’ to eat the weeds!”

“Exactly, Rose, the _weeds_ , not the carrots and the lettuce and every bloomin’ vegetable we have!” He glared at the rabbit. “He’ll be a right nuisance.”

“The TARDIS could grow him another garden, then! Somewhere nice and warm and sunny with lots of nice grass and trees and plants. You’d like that, wouldn’t you Beetlejuice?” She cooed.

“Oh, she’ll just grow him another garden!” He snarked, keeping an eye on the crafty rabbit who was making his way under her shirt. “She’s a TARDIS, Rose, not an instant home renovation kit, and this is no place for him!”

“You mean don’t want him?” She turned to him, wide-eyed and pulling the rabbit out of her clothes. “But look at him, Doctor. He’s gorgeous!”

“He’s not ugly,” he said grudgingly, eyeing the black and white lop-eared ball of fluff.

“He’s beautiful!” She cooed, dropping a kiss on the rabbit’s furry head. “An’ he doesn’t have anywhere to go.” She turned pleading eyes on him and he hated himself, knowing he’d give in. “He’s a pet, Doctor and he obviously got lost or somethin’- we can’t just leave him to be eaten by something out there!”

He said nothing. If nothing else, at least he hadn’t given in immediately.

“Please, Doctor!” She gazed at him, brown eyes pleading. “I love him already, and he loves me! Look how happy he is?”

He grunted.

“Please?” She said softly. “He looks just like the bunny I had as a kid.”

And of course, that did it.

He sighed in defeat.

“You’d best find somethin’ to keep him in for tonight,” he said gruffly, wincing at her squeal and suppressing a growl at the TARDIS’s chiming laughter in his mind. “TARDIS’ll take a few hours to grow him a little garden and I don’t want him leavin’ little presents for us all over the place.”

“Oh, thank you, Doctor!” She beamed, and drew him into a careful hug, mindful of the rabbit. “He can stay in my room tonight. I’ll just go and set up a little box for him- here, you take him for a bit an’ I’ll be right back.”

“What? No, Rose I-” But she was already gone, leaving a black and white ball of fluff in his hands. “Right,” he sighed. “‘Spose it’s just you and me for a bit, then."

The rabbit peered up at him consideringly, front teeth protruding and long ears hanging limp, and the Doctor couldn’t help but think he was being judged.

By a rabbit.

“Look, it’s nothin’ personal,” the Doctor told him. “Don’t have anything against rabbits, me.”

The rabbit seemed to look at him doubtfully.

“I don’t! Honestly.” The Doctor shook his head. “Listen to me- last of the Time Lords, justifyin’ himself to a rabbit. Daft as a school of pandas.”

The rabbit cocked his head.

“Look, it was a legitimate point, mate, alright? We’re not always in and what are you goin’ to do when we’re off savin’ the universe?” The Doctor eyed the bundle of fur consideringly. “Doubt you’d be able to keep up.”

The rabbit actually managed to look offended.

“Oh, don’t be like that. You know you’re a domestic rabbit, not made for the hard stuff, like my Rose.”

(He ignored the fact that he’d broken his own rule and called Rose his. The rabbit wouldn’t tell.)

The rabbit shifted and pulled until he’d given the Doctor his back.

“Oi, an' I’ll have none of your attitude, thank you!” The Doctor carefully turned him around to face him. “Now, then, if you’re goin’ to be stayin’ then we need to set a few ground rules. Rule number one- don’t give me your bum when I’m tryin’ to talk you.” He gave the rabbit a pointed look for good measure. “Rule number two- you don’t leave your garden, or whatever box Rose puts you in for the time bein’. If I find you in _my_ garden eatin’ beans or tomatoes or the like, you’re gonna cop it, got that?”

The rabbit blinked.

“Good. And rule number three- keep out of Rose’s shirt. No tryin’ to butter her up and slipping under her clothes. Rose’s clothes are off-limits for all of us, alright?”

The rabbit curled his head into the Doctor and closed his eyes.

“Oi, no fallin’ asleep durin’ the rules!” He waited until the rabbit had opened its eyes again. “And rule number 4 is absolutely _no_ leavin’ jellybeans everywhere! You go in your garden or your box, you got that?”

The rabbit blinked.

“Good.” The Doctor nodded. “Glad we got that sorted.”

“Got what sorted?” 

The Doctor looked up to find Rose in the doorway.

“Just a few ground rules,” the Doctor said, trying not to stare as he usually did. “Think we understand each other now.”

“Oh Doctor you’re not seriously tellin’ me you stood there readin’ rules to a rabbit?”

“Of course not!” The Doctor handed her the rabbit and folded his arms. “I didn’t read them- I made ‘em up!”

Rose rolled her eyes and cradled the now suspiciously wide-awake rabbit. “Don’t you listen to him Beetlejuice. Come on, let’s go and see the little box I set up for you in my room!”

“Oi! Don’t you go spoilin’ that rabbit, Rose! Rose! Are you listenin’ to me? He needs discipline!"

Rose just cooed at the rabbit as she made her way into the corridor, the protesting Doctor trailing behind her.

_Fin_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Come follow me at countessselena.tumblr.com


End file.
